power cinema

this week i have seen two films that give us an intimate look into our government and its members and agencies. powerful and controversial, farenheit 9/11 and the white chicks, moved me deeply. actually, white chicks made me feel like throwing up a little.

so, the w.c. is terrible. it has, maybe, three or four funny scenes. and was not at all original. the makeup kinda grossed me out. wasnt sure if i was watching the white chicks or leatherface.

f9/11. obviously enjoyable. favorite scene: the two recruiter marines. theres this black guy walking and they call him a "gangsta." i thought it was cute. anyway, the movie is not much of a documentary. just really footage to support the agenda. reminds me of the 'anyone but bush 2004' campaign-like stickers that have been popping up. michael moore is great at cacthing people's moments tho. and gets his point across.

not like the white chicks tho! theres nothing like black men, dressed up as white girls. and white and balck jokes for 1.5 hours. the audience loved it.

spotted...

yesterday, at hurricane harbor. a bizzarro michael and bizzarro carrie. well, minus the glasses. they may not look exactly like em, but its funny.

link...

i saw this below and liked it:

There is a difference between being effeminate and being a queen. Being effeminate is just that--being. Being a queen is an affectation. I can't throw a ball, but I don't call anyone "girl,"...

got it from his site, which i like also.

listen up, fellow christians...

i used to live in wichita falls. a very white, christian city, with people like this:

with everything starting to go wrong in the world it's time to pray for REVIVAL. I read the editorials every day, and all I see is people, especially homosexuals, throwing a verse from the Bible out to justify the sin they are committing.

click the excerpt above to read the full letter to the editor in the times record news, the pride of wf.

project spree

we thank you for your consideration and efforts in assisting in this project. here at project spree, we are determined to use your donated dollars for very good causes. in these very difficult times, the world needs you. and i need you. and i need your donations.

each donation will recieve a personalized e-greeting from myself. i will also let you know how the money will be spent and where. whether its a cellular phone bill or club monaco, your donations will be put to good use. please use the paypal donation button to the right of the screen, under my email address.

and as always, donations in any dollar amount are accepted. again, thank you for the consideration and i hope to be sending that e-greeting out to you very soon. children in sweat shops around the world also send their special thanks.

thanks!

link...

this is soo damn funny. see, ebay is fun and andy46477 is a genius.

and this is sooooo goddamn true! agree cayce? i know your brother does. and all it takes is two tacos from tb. somehow, two taco queer sounds nasty.

and finally, dont be afraid to come across as an asswipe. own your asswipeness. and other rules on how to blog. i like the site.

FYI: 'even with what has been touted as the best line-up since its inception in 1991', and possibly the gayest, 'it was not enough to counter the weak economic state of this years summer touring season. good! interpol it is then. their new albums song list is out.

theyre fat!

i love my immediate family. i really do. thats my parents and my two brothers. everytime i get to see my brothers, we laugh about the dumbest of things. the middle one and i had a 30 minute conversation on how we can develop an eating disorder. he suggested going to mexico. apparently, hes heard, which ive also heard, that you can actually buy like intestinal worms or something that will give you the diarrhea from hell. im afraid i would never get rid of the parasites, you know? still tho, its something to consider.

anyway, my cousin had her quincenera (debut) dinner. it wasnt an all out mexican fifteenth. it was just a nice dinner. which was good cause i got to see my extended family members. and got to see how they have changed. and not for the better.

my cousins, they seem to have just gotten bitchier and flashier. and i dont get them. theyre just sooo disgusted with everything. and hardly even talk to me. which is weird. we were great friends. and i tried talking to them. a hi and how are you was about what i got. who cares. theyre fat! anyway, this made me think. my friends have changed aswell. well, some of them. i spoke to another friend not long ago. and i was like, who is this? he just seemed totally different. not at all who i first met. but i think that our perceptions of others easily fools us. and ive noticed that a lot recently. even with people i havent known too long. i can say im happy with about 4 friendhsips. that i can count on them or that i can at least count on them being consistant. booboo kitty fuck, go kitty, a.rivers, and prowl.

im easily dissapointed. and im starting to think that says more about me than others. i am soo looking for something i cant find. but i cant even tell you what that is.

i did download the complete franz ferdinand album. i am happy with that right now.

weekend update...my trip home

so my trip home may not have been as exciting as i was hoping it would be...

i wasnt able to 'pull' into a rest area, as i usually do. but i got to see my parents and spent some time with my family. my nephew is here with me. which is cool. but i cant be gay for a while. we'll see how that goes. i feel bad, cause i already want to nap. and he wants to hang out. so i showed him how to dl music, which hopefully will keep him busy for a while. in 3 days my computer will be full of rap.

anyway, not sure what to expect for the next 10 days. should be interesting. but i did miss the three of you!!!!

today was weird

but, hopefully things are okay. i said something today i should have kept to myself. i should have listened to a friend. still tho, my actions were completely innocent. i was completely naive.

i know what i did isnt terrible. but it wasnt smart. there was no point. remember 'if you dont have anything nice to say...'? well, sometimes, nice things should be kept to yourself too. i think the worst part is the minute after you realize what youve done. and thinking, man, that was dumb. but to be honest, under other circumstances, i dont think things could be different. still tho, im okay and dont be concerned. nothings changed.




and cayce, i know this doesnt make sense. other than that, i think mac culkin is, strangely, kinda hot.

monkey boy

Buzzworthy77: hey, i sent you a pic
Buzzworthy77: do u think he looks like a monkey?
hernanj1973: hold on
hernanj1973: whoever it is, they look evil
hernanj1973: they have a devil beard
hernanj1973: i can see a planet of the apes appearance
Buzzworthy77: i do think he looks a bit monkey-ish
hernanj1973: what boy is it?
Buzzworthy77: this other boy
Buzzworthy77: i may or may not go out with
hernanj1973: you shouldnt, you'll have children who pick things up with their feet
hernanj1973: and can shade themselves in their own browlines
Buzzworthy77: is he that ugly?
hernanj1973: he looks like the devil
hernanj1973: he looks short and stocky
hernanj1973: and like he might wear biker leather
hernanj1973: and owns a riding crop
Buzzworthy77: hes 6'2"
hernanj1973: bs!
Buzzworthy77: lol. he is!
Buzzworthy77: well, i think hes more like 6'0"
hernanj1973: in stilleto heels!
hernanj1973: did he mention that?
Buzzworthy77: no, he is tall
hernanj1973: he's a devil
hernanj1973: he's that tall because he has hooves for legs
Buzzworthy77: i dont like the chin hair
hernanj1973: i'm going to forward to nomi and see what she says
Buzzworthy77: k
hernanj1973: okay, i sent it
hernanj1973: i didnt influence her so we'll see what she says
hernanj1973: i need something to buy. what can i buy?
Buzzworthy77: nothing, save your money
hernanj1973: i'm not good at saving
hernanj1973: i see money and i think of things i want
hernanj1973: i'm just unaware of what i want
Buzzworthy77: those cure/inteprol tix are high!
hernanj1973: how much?
Buzzworthy77: 51 to 66 in illinois
hernanj1973: nomi says, i'm already biased cuz he had his shirt off which i think is tacky and gross. so i wouldn't say no for that fact alone. what did u say? of course this i'm not a gay man so i don't know if a shirtless picture like that is acceptable.
hernanj1973: she has a point
Buzzworthy77: yes, she does have a point
hernanj1973: ... hooves for feet
hernanj1973: tell him you are a catholic
hernanj1973: tell him your church frowns against the fraternizing of devils and demons
Buzzworthy77: i just thought he was okay. that was it
Buzzworthy77: i didnt know i was gonna become rosemary
hernanj1973: ha ha
hernanj1973: we dont approve
hernanj1973: we think you can do better
hernanj1973: what did jen say?
Buzzworthy77: she hasnt seen it
hernanj1973: show her!
Buzzworthy77: she cant check her mail from work
hernanj1973: oh
Buzzworthy77: can i blog our conversation about monkey boy?

note (in response to the comment): the above was an IM exchange between two people about "monkey boy", a boy who i may or may not go out with (as stated in the im exchange). i simply needed someones opinion. for those who would not have known that without this statement, this is your explanation. for a sec, i thought about posting his picture, but i can't do that. what if one of the three folks that reads this knows him? seriously, i couldnt do that. and, btw, the shift key is to the right of the letter Z, asshair.

i am his favorite uncle!

so, im going home for fathers day. im gonna see my folks. anyway, my nephew, age 13, wants to come back with me and 'hang out.' im thinking this is more of his father's idea tho. anyway, so my nephew calls me today and asks if he can bring his friend with him. 'what?', i say. 'no.' i mean, i dont even know who the hell he's talking about. but he says, 'its okay. hes like my best-friend.' i dont give a rats ass, boy. come on! i cant have a stranger-child in my apartment for 2 weeks. anyway, i tell my nephew, 'look, im sure your parents would say no anyway.' to which he says, 'well, i asked my dad. he said it was up to you.' great parenting there, jackass. way to put this on me. it would make sense to have the stranger-child here, so my nephew wont be so bored while im at work or when i take him to work. but then im thinking, okay, this can get expensive with one child. i cant even imagine what stranger-child will cost me.

plus, theres this boat party the weekend after next. in lake lewisville. its for primo's (prev written about) b-day. a.rivers is one of the organizers. okay, if i decide to be completely irrisponsible and go to this thing, i would have to take my nephew. i am not gonna be responsible for stranger-child.

anyway, im trying this new pic program that blogger has to offer. so, the pic below is simply a test.

boo-boo kitty fuck and boob-a-licious

defining my crushes...

okay-just to make things a little clear. previously, i've spoken about crushing on some. and man-crushing on others. i hope we all know the difference.

i live in a straight world, with straight friends. and trust me, they get man-crushes (or girl-crushes) all the time. a man-crush is very innocent. man-crushing is more of an admiration, where no physical contact ever occurs. kinda like the guy who idolizes his best-friend because he's cool, outgoing, and gets all the chicks. its kinda like that.

crushing on the other hand. well, that one is not so innocent. it is sweet tho.

weekend update

my weekend was good. and although i don't have any crazy stories, it certainly was fun. thanks cesar, for a lot of that. i did go to vivid on friday, which i had never been to before. i was very surprised. its actually a way cool looking bar. it was early, so it wasn't busy. still, it was fun.

anyway, saturday was interesting. most of the night was spent at this gay bar, caliente. for some reason tho, i think thats spelled with a k. ok, it was soooo freaking hot in that place. like sweat with out even moving hot. when i asked if the place was artificially cooled, this guy pointed to the ceiling fans. obviously, with a name like caliente, you know its a spanish music place. imagine the owner of a '99 f150 with chihuaha on the back. maybe some roosters painted on the vehicle. he was there. with his hat on. dancing with his ghetto cousin from oak cliff. it was actually a cool place. it sounds like i'm dissing it, but i'm not. i was surprised. and there were even quite a few guys i thought were way cute.

as always, i'm too shy to do anything. i so think i should be on anxiety pills. or just anything to swing my moods. but im so afraid of the ramifications. i certainly don't want to become dependent. plus, i'm always afraid of what people would say if my medical history would be looked into for whatever reason. i met a lot of people last night. and its so like me to think the worst of things, but i just hope they don't think i was a total bore. i'm just quiet. but i don't know if that sometimes comes off different. see, i'm being shy, maybe a bit uncertain. but i'm wondering, am i coming off as a bitch? who would do anything to be somewhere else? my guy roommate and i have talked about that before: do i just come off as a complete ass sometimes? so i need to get rid of the shyness. the funny thing, every time i tell my friends, or just folks i know, how extremely shy i can be, they don't believe me. i am tho.

anyway, like i said, i did meet some cool kids, and others, i had met before. i have to say, everyone there was a pretty good dancer, which to be honest, and not offend the one person from that group that reads this, was a little surprising. i didn't get drunk, but i was drinking. the birthday boy...feel bad for him-he was trashed. but i think he had fun. which is cool. and hes kinda cute. my friend thought i would fall in love with this other boy. i did. but not in the way he thought i would. valley-boy is very cute. but, hes way cool. and a lot of fun. im sure hes a very fun person to have around. hes a little weird and crazy, but both in good ways. he spent sometime in the rio grande valley, where i'm from so that was cool. his drunk friend was fun. and kinda cute. but he was not the dancer. which was fine cause he had cigs and not bad to the eye. and a couple was with us. they're cool. and cute together. i have like this man-crush on this guy. hes smart, and super-nice, and thin! i want to braid his hair and talk music! his bf of like 3 yrs, is very sweet.

and then theres cesar, who is, definitely, the sweetest.

the weight in my heart

i just weighed myself. it was dissapointing. i have honestly been watching my intake. sometimes even skipping it. and ive also increased physical activity. this is such a change for me, and still, nothing. ive lost like 2 lbs. which is crap. but, i wont give up. i need to be 155. that shouldnt be hard at all. especially since im not that far from that.

anyway, a friend said, i looked fine anyway. im gonna believe him. but, another friend said, my hair is a mess, my thighs need some mass, and my diet is all screwy. geesh, i love life.

its all the pressure. my assistant supervisor keeps telling people i wont be here (at my current job) long. he says im headed to bigger and greater things. thanks for the confidence, but what if i dont? its gotten to the point where coworkers discuss it. whether im gonna stay or not. just because ive put in a couple of apps. some have said i will end up here forever, and just climb the ranks. i dont know. i wouldnt mind staying. as much as i bitch, i love my job. still tho, you dont want to be a disspaointment. i will consider houston around september-october and look for a move late this yr or early next. i dont know if i rather stay. i like it here, but i need to make myself available to move around. unless i were to get the balls to do #5 listed in the entry below. and if i found that special someone, and flowers would bloom, and something dreamy by interpol would play in the background. then i would stay.

random notes and declarations

1.i have friday off. its been declared an official day of mourning in remembrance of President Ronald Reagan. i like reagan. and its sad that hes passed. but lets face it, i wont be mourning or remembering.

2.i am so ready for a new interpol cd. ive decided that i will see them and the cure, and not morrissey and sonic youth, this summer. i guess i could do both. nah.

3.this worries me. you sometimes wish you had some wise words for him, but theres nothing to say. its an interesting site. highly personal. sometimes described as tragic.

4.i need to come up with some good shit for this site. i swear to god, that was a random address i just happened to try.

5.dudes, i am so afriad of rejection. and so wanting to not be. i want to ask someone out. but i wont. im such a shit.

and the beauty award goes to...

the penis. on saturday, i had an interesting conversation with some friends. they needed to know what sex was like between gay men. not that im the expert, since, uhm, i dont have any. one friend, lets call her boob-a-licious in denton, says all she knows, shes learned from watching qaf. so, we get into what and how and where and how slow things need to go sometime. the conversation soon leads to oral sex and why we all like to recieve and not necessarily give. not true for the gay man, i say. gay men love dick. and i was like, whats not to like. vagina, on the other hand...not all that attractive. and i know, ive had three. theres sometimes a lot going on there. like nature's experiment gone bad. i know layers are a good thing, but so is simplicity. boobookittyfuck disagreed, claiming that she loooved her vagina. boob-a-licious understands my point but says that penis can be unattractive. but in a beauty contest, i know the penis would be hard and tough...to beat.

the conversation leads to masturbation, which we all agreed, we needed to stop doing, asap. so, everyone there agreed that it was time to take charge. boob-a-licious, in her wise, old age, thinks we all need to come up with a personal plan thatll help us in the search for men. my plan is to meet new people, which im really working on. the girls are trying to be more forward. they actually have this sure-to-fail technique. stare at a guy for 5 seconds, smile, and look them up and down. they practiced on me; i thought it was weird. freaks.

anyway, we all know that any progress we make towards achieving self-validation through penis, will be posted. because, we all think the penis is beautiful, right?

gay or straight?

as previously posted, im always wondering whether poeple i meet are gay or straight. i always end up thinking all the straight guys are gay, and all the gay guys are straight. so ive tried to come up with some standard questions that can help us all decide...gay or straight? a (-) negative number, means staright (because being straight is a bad thing), and a (+) positive is gay.

age: 25
location: lubbock
employment: med student
shoe size: 12 (sigh)
gay or straight? hes a +2
1.is he in a relationship? yes, with a girl (0, still questionable)
2.boxers or briefs? boxers (-1, straight)
3.does he have a favorite cartoon character? yes, pokemon (+1, gay)
4.soccer or football? football (-1)
5.does he liked to be tickled? yes (+1)
6.can he name the d2 twins? he has no idea what we're even talking about (-1)
7.does he use the term 'pee pee' around other guys? yes, often (+1)
8.does he like george michael or kylie minogue? both (+1)
9.does he use sleeveless tees? sometimes (+1)
10.does he have magazine subscriptions? no(-1)
11.does he know ted, biran, justin, emmitt, or or michael? no (-1)
12.does he have a hair stylists? yes (+1)
13.does he often say, 'awwww'? yes (+1)
14.does he golf? yes (-1)
15.has he ever used cute nicknames on me? yes (+1)

trevor '04

not sure why i have a 3 year subscription to ym magazine. but i do. it was like $2. anyway, for those that like them young, and btw, that is not me (at all), ym has the election of the year! and altho you have the right to vote for whatever last boy you want, i strongly encourage you vote trevor.

i'm wondering who reads this magazine. well, besides a 27 year old gay guy. trev, as i call him, is 19 i think. however, the age of the other guys ranges from like 14 to 24 or something. which i find a little weird. its weird to think that a 14 year old girl has a mag clip of a 20 something year old boy. somehow tho, i dont find it weird that a 27 year old guy does the same. this is trev below...

link: fuh2

i love this f'ing site. my goal for the next two weeks, is to flip off one of these fellas and submit the pic. not that i really give a fuck bout the damn vehicles. i just want to play with my camera. dont forget to check out the links. pretty fun stuff. some of it is anti-bush. and we def care about that.

its june 1

man, this year is going by fast. faster than ben affleck's career.

anyway, the june shopping list is up. feel free to buy me one or both of the t-shirts listed. t-shirts are cool. and so are the shoes. i am obsessed with flip flops but havent been able to find the golas listed. so if you have the where to buy, let me know. and i cant believe i want the phats! i want them in all white. whats the deal-y, yo? hollllllaaaaa!