if i could access porn at work i would...

not be so damn bored. man, could this day be any less exciting? no. my online friends arent helping either. so bored. the highlights of my day, here at work:

• got caught up on the big brother websites.  oh, btw, cowboy is not that big.  so i have to assume that the bulge comes from his lemon sized balls.  oh, and jase, his is not bad at all. the show is basically boys vs girls (girls plus will, the gay one).  uhm, the boys are winning.  and i hate half of them. 
• gossiped about who may or may not be let go.  the agency is going through some major changes, and we will let about 11 people go.  i feel, now that ive written that, like i should get some work done. nah, fuck that.
• had lunch with a.rivers. discussed a possible trip to vegas.  i went last year and it was tons of fun.  i want to go again cause  my clothes this year are way cuter.  gay!  oh, and i also drew a monkey during lunch.
• spoke to prowl and his upcoming weddings.  thats a whole entry itself.  but i will save that for later.  anyway, prowl was taking a dump.  he gets bored easily so he feels he needs his phone with him.  we spoke about friends of his that i hate.  god, one of his friends has a huge ass!
• and i got to read this email...wonderful, no? 

  I was not able to find anyone else to relay the message through. I have a serious (this is embarrassing!) Hemorrhoid problem and as I tried to sit down for the first time yesterday morning since I had been laying down all weekend, I began to seriously bleed and I had a really bad stain in my pants as well. I honestly did not realize you guys were going to be in a meeting that long!this is the shit i do at work. 

i have so much work piled on my desk.  but the way i see it, they refuse to pay me what im worth, i refuse to do the quiality of work they feel they can get from me.  i think thats fair.  come on, i work for the government.  killing time is a part of my benefits package.  and my bonus this year?  this vintage chair (thats trendy talk for 'this chair the county bought in 1973') from the conference room.  im stealing that bitch.  a coworker and i just "moved" it to a more convenient location.  a storage closet no one uses.  what a day!  the excitement gives me chills.  please kill me.  or simply remind me that things will get better.